Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Hanson Develop Their Own Beer For No Good Reason At All

You know what market hasn’t been tapped? A market that really has been crying out for someone to fill? The ironically loved 90s one-hit wonder alcohol market! So thank the stars that Hanson are here and flogging a beer they’ve developed!
That’s right, music brothers Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson are in the process of developing an Indian Pale Ale which won’t be stocked by an real ale enthusiast pubs in early 2012.
Of course, what with it being pop related, it’s going to need a pun-based name, right? Get ready to wonder what it would be like to order a foaming pint of MMMHop. And how dare you assume that we made that name up.
Without any trace of irony, Zac Hanson, speaking at the Oxford University Union on Monday night, said:
“We of course make records, they are fundamental to what we do, but we wanted to create a brand so that our fans have a greater experience.
“What is vital is that Hanson merchandise is quality and not made solely with the purpose of profit. We have a board game and even a record player to play our last record on, but we will never make dolls, lunch boxes or toothbrushes that play our songs for example.
“It’s vital our fans have trust in everything Hanson do. In fact we are soon going to be selling our own beer, I’m not even joking. MMMHop IPA anyone?”
Get all that? There’s a whole bunch of merch out there that no-one has bought because Hanson haven’t been at all relevant since the ’90s.
Of course, making your own beer is in vogue for musicians. For a few months now, you’ve been able to buy the Elbow-developed Build A Rocket Boys Beer and Def Leppard’s Joe Elliott launched a lager named Down ‘N’ Outz.
It’s more usual for a band to get a taste for wine and such, because it means you can have regular holidays to vineyards in France and Italy on the expenses, but y’know, lager… drink of the people… people’s bands… all that bullshit.
Next week: Nik Kershaw releases Pot Noodle rival called Wouldn’t It Be Rice and Chris De Burgh sets up Lady Is Dead funeral parlour for ‘a greater fan experience’.

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